- A collection of thoughts from last night's State of the Union
-1-
roommate: I don't understand why Michelle Obama doesn't get to sit up front.
me: Well, that's where the dignitaries sit, like the Justices of the Supreme Court, or the Joint Chiefs, or whatever.
roommate: Yeah, but at an NBA game you don't see the wives sitting up in the nosebleeds! At baseball games family and friends get to sit right behind home plate!
-2-
Are there deeply, deeply Southern people that feel that calling the speech the "State of the Union" address is a personal attack on the fallen Confederacy? Those people simply have to exist, and if you disagree, clearly you did not have the same Driver's Ed teacher I did.
-3-
President Obama obliquely referenced the special election in Massachusetts last week for the last Senator Kennedy's seat, which, as you all know, went to the GOP and deprived the Democrats of the 60th vote they needed to invoke cloture. (You have no idea what I just said, do you?)
This caused me to wonder something: for how many of President W's eight years did the Republicans hold 60 seats in the Senate? And, not surprisingly, the answer is zero, which we all knew because of all those memorable newspaper headlines from 2000-2008 proclaiming "REPUBLICANS IN SENATE CRIPPLED BY 40+ DEMOCRATS; BUSH UNABLE TO PURSUE ANY KEY POINTS OF HIS AGENDA."
(To clarify - I'm not saying the Republicans are just meaner and bigger assholes than the Dems [though they may be] but I am saying that the Dems were total bitches for most of the Bush administration.)
- Whew, that sure got serious. Hey, look, a picture of John Oates Jazzercising!
I feel better already.
- Two facts to get out here. One: If you're already in a juvenile diversion program, you shouldn't steal a fire truck and go joyriding. Two: Fact one only applies if the truck was not left on the side of the road with the keys in it and running. Every time I walk by a parked, running UPS truck with nobody sitting inside, I think about just hopping in and taking off. Eventually my better judgment overrules that urge, but I cannot imagine the level of temptation I would have to overcome if you replaced that UPS vehicle with a fire truck.
- Lia's boyfriend is a national treasure. I offer you proof courtesy of her tumblr.
-2-
Are there deeply, deeply Southern people that feel that calling the speech the "State of the Union" address is a personal attack on the fallen Confederacy? Those people simply have to exist, and if you disagree, clearly you did not have the same Driver's Ed teacher I did.
-3-
President Obama obliquely referenced the special election in Massachusetts last week for the last Senator Kennedy's seat, which, as you all know, went to the GOP and deprived the Democrats of the 60th vote they needed to invoke cloture. (You have no idea what I just said, do you?)
This caused me to wonder something: for how many of President W's eight years did the Republicans hold 60 seats in the Senate? And, not surprisingly, the answer is zero, which we all knew because of all those memorable newspaper headlines from 2000-2008 proclaiming "REPUBLICANS IN SENATE CRIPPLED BY 40+ DEMOCRATS; BUSH UNABLE TO PURSUE ANY KEY POINTS OF HIS AGENDA."
(To clarify - I'm not saying the Republicans are just meaner and bigger assholes than the Dems [though they may be] but I am saying that the Dems were total bitches for most of the Bush administration.)
- Whew, that sure got serious. Hey, look, a picture of John Oates Jazzercising!
I feel better already.
- Two facts to get out here. One: If you're already in a juvenile diversion program, you shouldn't steal a fire truck and go joyriding. Two: Fact one only applies if the truck was not left on the side of the road with the keys in it and running. Every time I walk by a parked, running UPS truck with nobody sitting inside, I think about just hopping in and taking off. Eventually my better judgment overrules that urge, but I cannot imagine the level of temptation I would have to overcome if you replaced that UPS vehicle with a fire truck.
- Lia's boyfriend is a national treasure. I offer you proof courtesy of her tumblr.
GC: Oh, great picture!
Lia: Thanks! Yeah I think it came out pretty good.
GC: You both look so homely!
Lia: Homely?!
GC: Yeah! Cute and homely.
Lia: GC, homely means ugly.
GC: It does? Well shit, I’ve been using that word wrongly for a long time then. (pause) I meant you guys look plain. Like not that glamorous.
Lia: What??
GC: I mean like…plain…like, shit.
Lia: Yeah.
I swear, that man is doing so much to make me look like a catch by comparison. I should probably give him a basket of canned corn and taffy as a reward.
- SkyMall Item of the Day
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