Breakfast Time, 12/2/10

- Illogical Lyrics in Rap Songs

Young MC's hit "Bust A Move" features these lines towards the end of the song:

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry

In five days from now he's gonna marry

He's hopin' you can make it there if you can

'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man

So...Larry is asking you to be his best man. And not his brother. And the wedding is less than a week away. And you haven't even RSVPed. And presumably if you don't show, Harry is the fallback option. If you do show, Harry gets demoted to usher.

Young MC, you are describing the way a wedding party is chosen in the same way that pickup kickball is organized. Observe:

Your best friend Rod has a brother Todd

He's getting together a kickball squad

Are you available on the following dates?

If you say yes, you'll play first base

- This Tampa story is old, but GOD where to begin. Why did you gather up the used remnants of your fireworks from the beach? Why did you put them in your car? And once the car was on fire, why did you get burned on 10% of your body trying to get the keys? SPOILER ALERT: lack of keys was not going to be the reason you weren't driving that '91 Lexus in the future.

Sadly, this totally sounds like something my sister would do. "But Mom, you told me to leave things better than I found them, and I couldn't find a trash can, so I had to put the fireworks scraps in the car!"

- SkyMall Item of the Day:

If you're looking to dump your significant other this holiday season, do it by giving them one present and one present only - a spiral ham from SkyMall. Nothing says "I don't care about your feelings anymore" like SkyMall Ham.